I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
