am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
