Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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