At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
