Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
