i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
