Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
