Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
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Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
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YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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