oh god the rape fog is back!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
