what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
