theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
