Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
