i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
