ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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