Soap is not a condiment
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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