Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
