Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
