I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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