is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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