I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
