oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
