I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
did you just send me my own nude
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
