No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
