she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
