I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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