So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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