weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
