my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize