Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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