very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
