No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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