For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
