listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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