who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
