his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
my poor anus
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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