I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
