my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
