He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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