you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We have started to decorate penises.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
