the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize