Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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