did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
