Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
