so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
