Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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