Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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