my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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