hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
