Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Why did my mother make you get naked?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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