Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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