I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
