I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
