Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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