She's JV to your varsity
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
