i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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