yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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