You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
