is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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