Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
