I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
