she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
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