my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize