I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
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I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
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I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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