Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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