Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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