I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
